What does living well have to do with dating/mating white?

Angie and new hubby bottom: Ajani and her new hubby.... One of the most important aspects of living well is finding a good man....






Evia often speaks of living well on her much read blog. And I know alot of ppl often wonder what does she mean when she speaks of living well. The reason I decided to address it is because I came across a site the other day attacking her for alledging  that living well had anything to do with dating/marrying white. The fact is that there is a direct correllation between HIGHER QUALITY men and living well. And the fact is that there are ALOT of quality wm all over. They seem to be ubiquitous,  whereas  quality bm are very short supply and growing fewer in number almost daily. This is the primary reason I think many of us bloggers advocate dating and marrying 'out'.  The painful truth is that alot of bw have lived in dysfunction so long they can no longer recognize it for what it is. So many women have men coming over for booty calls who are unavailable for 'real dates,' or have men who come to get their clothes cleaned, their sexual appetites filled, or come to 'take' in many other ways. So many bw today live lives of quiet desperation- poor things! When she speaks of living well I know many of you are scratching your heads and wondering what that really means. I can tell you my take on it, and I'm sure she'll correct me if I'm wrong. But I think she simply means to live a happy, fulfilled, and prosperous life that meets with your idea of "great" Whether you want to marry an artist or a king to simply know what you want and not let anyone deter your happiness and prosperity.

I think we all know either overtly or covertly that many bw are in dire straights. Many bw wake up each day and wonder why they bother. Some  I know personally ) wake up crying and go to sleep crying. It breaks my heart- because it should not be that way. Your life is a most precious gift, and  if you are unable to enjoy it, there is an egregious injustice taking place. What really ticks me off though is that the world seems to take morbid pleasure in the bw's agony. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has noticed all the lies that are constantly spread about us. From the ridiculous phantom 'study' which suggested we were the least datable (along with Asian men)- to the blatant lie the CDC told, claiming 50% of bw had herpes! The reason they felt secure enough to tell these lies is because they knew bw had no men behind them who would come forward and "fight" for them. Think about it, when Travon Martin was brutally shot by G. Zimmerman. we felt for his family right along with millions of other ppl. And many bw stampeded out there and fought and cried along with his family for justice. In fact every week there seems to be a new 'male black face' that bp are out there fighting for. And bw are full force out in front every single time. But when was the last time a black female had ANYONE fighting for her???

I could name (female) victim after victim of violent crimes who received virtually no press coverage, and were mourned only silently by their families. Why is this? Why the silent treatment when the vic is a woman instead of a man? Because they have an agenda. They always have, except many bw never realized it before. There agenda is to push the bm up by standing on the bent and broken bodies of bw, and anyone else who gets in the way. They are very stealthy about it, so bw won't know until they are no longer needed. Kind of like a fake friend does when she smiles in your face, and tries to steal your husband behind your back. She was planning it all along and the smile was to disengage your defenses. However, I think it should be patently obvious what bm are up to now-look at their actions. Anyone who can't see by now is either in denial or quite obtuse. Men are just not able to keep their true intentions hidden for long, because their actions give them away. Remember that. Don't bother listening to what a man says-watch what he does, it will give you the real clues.

But back to what I was saying, the reason the world will lie and try to stomp on bw is because they know that we are the most UNPROTECTED women in the world!. Wm (even those not married to ww) will shut anyone down quick who tries to attack the sanctity of the ww's image. They know their mothers, sisters, cousins, Aunts etc. are ww. They know they CAME from these women so they are not about to allow these women to be thrown under the bus. This is what a REAL man does. He protects the women and children in his community. He fights if nec. and even dies if nec. But he PROTECTS his community. Now compare this to the bc. Where you have women sometimes working 2 jobs to take care of lackadaisical, go nowhere men. Think about the fact that 70% of the wealth in the bc is with the women! two thirds of the ppl going to college and raising children alone are the women! And many of these wonderful women are suffering horribly in numerous ways.

So to answer the question what does mating/dating/marrying white have to do with living well? Simply that when you know better you do better. It's really as simple as that. Let me be clear before I am misquoted once again. Wm are NOT saviours. But many of them are good men. It is very easy to find good wm-they're everywhere. This is why it is so easy to live well with a loving good wm. They are easy to find and AVAILABLE! Many bm are not only extremely damaged, but are emotionally, financially, and mentally unavailable. And you don't need a Brad Pitt look alike either. You just need I good man. The reason I advocate for bw to step outside the box to look for a man is because I know that your chances of finding a good man go up exponentially by looking outside the bc for a man. The truth is most wm are raised to take care of their families, get MARRIED, be a FATHER to their children, and stay in their lives regardless of what happens in the marriage. They are also taught to make their communities a better and safer place for posterity. Ladies, lets be blunt. It's very hard to live well when you have to carry the full load of bills and babies. It's very hard to live well when there is nobody to listen to YOUR pain or rub YOUR back after a long day. It's simply very hard to live well when you are carrying everyone. Now we HAVE to carry our children ,  but a man should carry himself, and lift most of the burden off his family. You should not work like a dog all day and come home to a man whining for you to take him out to eat! Don't laugh I know about 3 women who absolutely live like this every single day. One is so miserable every time I see her, it seems she's crying. She has 5 children by a verys dbr man and although she works almost 60 hrs per week, and makes a great salary, she is always broke, because she pays for almost everything. Her husband lays around all day and constantly nags her to buy 'him' things, and the  children have learned to follow his lead. They constantly use her to fill their needs all the while complaining that she does not do enough for them! Her husband even whines like a child if she buys herself a new dress! Carrying on about how come she does not buy more stuff for him! (smh) Her life revolves around working ungodly hours, running home to clean up, and taking the kids everywhere they need to go. She either has to choice of  picking up meals for him every night, or cooking a whole dinner after working 12 hrs straight!  She told me that her unemployed husband wants sex every night and does not care that she is exhausted. He also insist she get up at 6am to make breakfast for him before going to work! It goes on and on, If I told you half the things this poor woman goes through you would think I was making it up, but many women in the 'hood' live lives very similar or even worse than hers. So when you hear the term "living Well" know that it means getting the best education you can, the best man you can, and the best life you can.

What wm have to do with living well is that many wm will help you live well. Plain and simple. On the other hand, many bm will live well OFF of you! And this distinction can make or break your life! The culture of coddling and 'make up gifts' bestowed upon many bm in the bc has a paralyzing effect on manhood training. Many bw seem to feel guilt about the racism many bm endure (as if we don't) and make concerted efforts to minimize his pain. This always backfires later in life because the attitude of entitlement burgeons into an overwhelming demand. He often goes from 'wanting ' something to thinking that it is 'owed' to him. He learns to hide under the cloak of racism and unfair treatment whenever things don't go his way. He also learns manipulation 101 from the males in his immediate environment., and trust and believe they have a PHD in this subject. Thus he is able to shirk responsibility, become lazy, indolent and indifferent to making a better world. The females around him will often galvanize and fight anyone who threatens his way of life. Including Police, teachers, or any other form of authority. Thie best part is that it seems to be inconsequential how badly he treats the bw in his environment. Without fail, they always seem t0 come to his rescue. Thus he learns that bw are doormats that one steps on as he makes his way up in life....Im sure you all can see what I'm alluding to here, some of the trifleness that bm display IS our fault. Too many of us have let them get away with so much that they now have zero chance of being productive, useful, contributing members of society. This is all the more reason we need a fresh batch of men who have not have not come from the same paradigm.We basically need to start fresh and move on. All you ladies out there kissing bm's boo boos and picking him up when he falls, and fighting his battles. etc. STOP! He must learn to take the bumps and bruises just like other men. Remember the color purple line where Celia tells Mr:
"Look like if he hadn'a been yo boy he cud'a made somebody a decent husband!"   Yes some of it may be our fault when they are younger, but as a man grows into a man he knows that he has certain responsibilities and has no business hiding behind a woman's skirt. Not even his mother's., for this is boy behavior -not man behavior. So for all you ladies destined to "LIVE WELL, I suggest you look for Men, and leave the little boys behind...