Taking poison in small doses!

As I've said before, many  bw lead lives of pain and quiet desperation because they are being fed small doses of poison daily. When a bm bus driver is applauded and showered with commendation from the bc for punching a woman so hard he could have killed her, that is shot of poison directed at ALL bw.  When a world renowned R&B singer can molest a little blk 12 yr old on tape and not only escape jail, but have the whole community turn on the poor child (and see her as an overly grown slut-who seduced him!) That's poison directed at bw.
When a beautiful young bg college student refuses the advances of a ne-er-to-to-well loser with nothing to offer her, and is subsequently murdered because she refused him, that's poison being shoved down bw throats. To make this senseless crime even worse, many bm, on the poisonous board this cowardly bm frequented, not only encouraged him to( kill the b*%ch), but celebrated when he actually did!!!
When  nearly 80% of blk babies are born out of wedlock, yet somehow a bw is expected to raise healthy happy productive children all by herself, and if she ever falters and needs to OMG!-WELFARE!  she is considered a dreg,and slug on the system. Now I am not making excuses for women who become unwed mothers and then cry foul. Because I truly believe if you CHOOSE to have a baby without a mate, In most cases, you are asking for trouble. Emotional trouble,- as you will be your child's only parent. Financial trouble as many bm DO NOT TAKE CARE OF THEIR CHILDREN-and you will -in most cases have to be the sole provider. You will also most likely have physical trouble. Trying to raise your child, taking him places, helping with projects etc. And let us not forget discipline- (try handling a 14 yr old kid once he grows taller than you! Having babies out of wedlock is a bad idea all around. This is why other cultures actively discourage their daughters from doing it-even to the point of making them feel repulsive shame. Only dysfunctional bp would encourage such stupidity. The cost to the mother and left behind children is just too high, and may cost greatly for years of time....  But as I said this IS a form of poison because bm are not expected to marry the mothers of their children (unlike their white counterparts) It is seen as perfectly ok for him to abandon innocent children and a desperate mother. She is told she is a strong bw, and encouraged to be exactly that, even to the point of mental collapse. She is also constantly encouraged/coaxed to give, give, give- to the point where she may have nothing left, but is still encouraged to keep on giving! You can see this dynamic played out in the blk church. Where bw often do 95% of the work, yet it is the MEN who reap the rewards and benefits from their arduous efforts.
For instance I have a friend whose mother resides in a very blk enclave, and refuses to leave. Ms Helen is retired and is on SS, yet works almost continually at the church. One month her mother ran short on cash due to taking things to the church, cooking, cleaning and doing many other things for them. She used up all her money on gas, and provisions for them. Anyway my friend pleaded with her to take it easy and not go running to the church whenever they called. She then gave her broke mother 100.00 for food to hold her off until her ss money came in. Ms Helen planned to buy food that next day,  but the next day at church the First Lady informed them that the Pastor's anniversary was the next wk, and anyone who was a real member of this church would give at least 75.00 so that they could make him a money tree. Now keep in mind the Pastor of her church drives a BENTLEY! She has a 13 yr old station wagon that uses so much gas, the  local gas stations all know her by name. When she hesitated, and told them that her daughter had only given her 100 dollars, and that she needed it for food, and gas. She was immediately berated and told to think about her salvation and GIVE TO GOD'S CHURCH! Not only did they take 75 of her 100 but they the nerve to tell her they needed her to bring the cake next week, knowing she now had no money to buy the ingredients as the remaining 25 had to go into the tank!
Yet many bw are used in this manner EVERYDAY. Esp. older bw who are known to have great cooking skills, or other needed attributes they can be used for. Younger bw often face daily challenges strong enough to stop a heart. Many are sexually, or physically harassed, derided because of skin color, under constant attack whenever they leave their homes, or even in their homes at the hands of bm who claim to love them, or even bm who are total strangers to them but expect things from them. I remember traveling through the state of NY last year.  I passed two beggars on the highway. One was wg in his early 20s and other was a bg in his 50s.  Anyway the wg had a sign about wking for food. I felt bad for him, he seemed so lost, so I decided to give him 5.00. I waved him over, and gave him the money, which he seemed very grateful for. The bg had a sign about him being homeless and plz GIVE him money, (no mention of him being willing to work) but because I had already given the wm money, I felt a little guilty not giving anything to him. So I waved him over too, intending to give him 5 as well. But as he drew near  my car, it became obvious that he was furious. He started screaming at me about  how dare I give money to the Man, When I could see HE needed help! He went on to tell me that, that's why M&@her  F$%kers are busting bw's skulls because we are soooo  damn stupid, and greedy! Keep in mind now that this was MY MONEY! But I was greedy not to share with him whatever he needed!  I sped off without giving him anything as he stood there continuing to scream.. For a total stranger to EXPECT you to owe him ANYTHING is sheer lunacy, and poison. Because bw are given this msg so often, many actually begin to believe it and really think they owe allegiance, or help to random bm who spit vitriol at them on a regular basis.
The sad truth is that many bw are exposed to small doses of poison daily, yet are expected to function at full par.

The following depiction is made up but mirrors the lives of many average bw. See if you can count how many doses of poison are fed to this young woman in one day 


Picture a young mom. she struggles to get her child off to a daycare she can barely afford, then jumps on a crowded bus to work. We will call her Darlene for illustration... Keep in mind before you discount this story as too far fetched to ever be true. Many bw absolutely live like this everyday.....Watch how at one point this disillusioned  young woman even blames herself!

The bus was hot and smelly as Darlene made her way to the back. Several young black  teenagers, mostly male hung off the seat like lions in an open cage. Her mouth went dry, but she forced a smile and continued to make her way between men who refused to move their knees to allow her to pass.  When she got to the back she saw that the only unoccupied seats were covered with bags and no one seemed to notice(or care) that she desperately wanted to sit down. Darlene grabbed a pole as the bus shifted loudly and swung back into gear. She was having a lot of trouble holding onto her bag, newspaper, and reports she had promised her boss, but she clung on ferociously. 'After all, I'm a bw!' she told herself. 'I can handle it' She was so engrossed in her inner dialogue she failed to notice the two young males sitting directly behind her. One of them had a empty seat next to the window, but he'd covered it in a large bag so that it was almost impossible to access. " Big ass-nappy headed  B%*ch!" He spat. His buddy almost choked with laughter.  His malicious eyes caught Darlene's hurt ones. His smiled sadistically. "Well they aint got the purty w a t e  skin, but they IS good f'sumptim"  He sneered as he grabbed his private parts. "You right Dayquan! the other laughed. "They is good f' dat!"  
Darlene hung her head in sadness and shame, although she couldn't put her finger on exactly what she was ashamed of.  She tugged at the neckline of her medical assist. uniform. 'maybe my blouse is too exposed she thought hurriedly. There was no cleavage showing but she tugged anyway. ' What have I done to make them automactically think me a slut! she wondered morosely. She looked down at her dark pants that had to be bought in a larger size last time she had gone shopping.'  I have actually gained some weight,' she thought regretfully. 'If only I had stuck to my diet!' She cursed herself for not losing the extra 15 lbs she had been carrying for months. A sharp pain interrupted her reverie. Another man had come up behind her and stuck a sharp pencil point into her backside. 
Darlene jumped, and turned on him angrily. 'Leave me the hell alone!'  She shrieked.  She had expected to see a child, but instead a grown man stood before her -dark and menacing.
 "jest wanned t'see if dat azz was real" He smiled coldly. He stared at her with pure hatred in his eyes so strong-she felt like running. Pple near began to giggle, but it was anything but funny to Darlene.  "Get away from me!" She shrieked again.

"What's goin on back there!" The bus driver barked. He was a middle aged wm with graying blond hair and deep green eyes. Right now his green eyes were riveted on Darlene-waiting for her answer
All three locked eyes on Darlene, but there was no fear between them. more like defiance-as if they were daring her to tell. A young girl sitting to her left turned and shook her head at Darlene. She knew what she meant. 'don't tell on a bm cause we bp gotta stick together and not give the wm any reason to lock our brothers up. ' she'd heard this so often, she could write it in her sleep. 'But how come the so called 'good bm' never help us?' she wondered.
Darlene signed miserably and shook her head at the driver. He reluctantly took the bus out of park and resumed the trip. Once they realized they had gotten away with it, the 3 men returned to their victim and began to turn the insults up, which in turn became more vicious. Darlene turned for help to the people sitting around her, but they all turned their heads, many of the females regarded her sadly, but dare not intervene, lest they become the new target. Some of the larger bm practically yawned in her face, that is the ones who weren't laughing. The hatred and tension were so high, Darlene felt physically ill. At the next stop I'm getting off even if I'm late to work!'  she vowed. But as the bus pulled into a stop a pretty white girl in blue shorts got on. Darlene tried to move to the exit but the 3 animals were surrounding her, laughing as the tears began to leek from her eyes. They shoved her so hard, she hit her back on the pole. 
Suddenly the atmosphere changed. The wg moved to the back and the men instantly forgot about Darlene. They broke their necks offering the girl a seat, smiling at her, and making a show of cleaning the seat off for her. Someone again pushed Darlene so hard all the items in her arms crashed to the floor.  She fell to her knees. 'She HAD to have this work on her boss's desk, clean and ready to go.
The wg flipped her hair and looked haughtily down at Darlene as she picked one of the seats offered to her. It was next to the guy who had stuck her in the butt with a sharpened pencil, and looked at her so evilly she almost died. But now he was on his best behavior smiling and being ultra attentive to the girl next to him.  
Dayquan turned in his seat and stared enviously at the girl. "I almost took that seat" He murmured wistfully  "Ha ha too bad n%gga!"  the pen poker laughed. All 3 young men seemed to have forgotten about Darlene, and she was sooooo glad. They formed almost a worshiping circle around the girl, and showered her with compliments. "She was soooo beautiful, She was a queen... She must be a model etc" The girl laughed and flung her blond hair like a young Farrah Faucette. 

The next stop was Darlene's and she wasted on time fleeing the bus.... As she arrived in to work, Mrs Brewsky, an older ww who loved to wield authority  glanced sharply at her appearance. She had bus dirt on her uniform (which must stay spotlessly clean) tear streaks ruining her perfect makeup, and a large dirty footprint on her pant leg courtesy of the jerks on the bus. But even though she could plainly see she had been crying, Mrs B's cold eyes raked over her. "Darlene this will not work!" She snapped. "You simply cannot greet our patients looking like!"  "But Mrs Bren-!"  "No buts!"  Mrs B cut her off.  "Go see if Nia has an extra uniform in the back closet, If you does not -you may catch a bus back home right now!" Darlene trudged off trying to fight the tears and humiliation that tore at her soul.  "What sa matter? " Terrance the janitor quipped. "Was you gitten too busy to wash n iron yo clothes?" He scowled at her, and smiled meanly, showing a mouthful of  multi-colored, chipped teeth. "Now see if you was to let me sleep ova, Ida made sho you was up n off on t-- a-y-- m-- e!"  Darlene had to swallow the bile that rose in her throat  Terrace was pushing 60, chased every woman in sight, and only washed on special occasions. She tried to dart around him, but one of his groping hands found her left breast and squeezed it so hard, Darlene screamed. Then she sunk to the floor, and cried like a baby. Terrance hissed for her to shut up roughly. Then he began to tell her all the horrible things he would do to her if she got him fired, but Darlene was beyond caring. She was so tired of the guilt, shame, and pain inflicted on her daily just because she was a black woman. Suddenly the scream she had been carrying for years came out in a torrent of tears. "Al ight B%&ch!, Terrance held up his arms as if fending off an invisible foe. "I sees you da type tryda git a good bm fired-but let me tel ya. Iffn I gits fired my sistas is going com down h-e-a-h-and kick a hole n ya stupid azz!"  Then her best friend Rosita was there. She tried to pull Darlene off the floor before management caught her. Rosy looked sympathetic, but Darlene knew she could never really understand what she went through almost daily. She was Hispanic, and Hispanic men did not hate and disrespect their women the way AA men did. She felt so tired and worn out, but she had no one to turn to. If she complained, she was weak, if she took it until she went insane, she'd be a crazy b who couldn't handle a lit bit a stress-if she quit her kids would starve!  Dear God, what do I do!  She wondered. Suddenly Dr Mills was there. He was a tall wm who resembled Charlton Heston in his younger days. He pulled Darlene easily to her feet, and leaned in close. "If you need someone to talk to, I've been told I have a great listening ear" He smiled. Darlene nodded, slowly. More than anything she needed to talk!....